I used to do “30 days off” from drinking all the time when I was still a heavy drinker (ok, alcoholic!). Honestly, it was my go-to reset button. Dry January? Sober October? I was your girl.

Dry January was my favourite because, let’s face it, December was always an absolute drinking marathon. You’ve got Christmas parties, family gatherings, “festive” nights in… basically a month-long permission slip to overindulge. And in the back of my mind, I’d think: It’s fine. I’ll make up for it in January.

So every New Year’s Day, I’d wake up feeling bloated, exhausted, and anxious. My skin looked dull, my clothes felt tight, and my head was foggy. The hangovers had been stacking up so badly in December that by the end of the month I was crawling towards that imaginary finish line. Dry January felt like salvation.

The First Few Days — Instant Relief

I’d start on January 1st, armed with nothing but willpower. And in those early days, it was surprisingly easy — mostly because I felt so awful from all the holiday drinking.

Within three or four days, it was like night and day. My skin cleared, the bloat started to vanish, and I dropped a bit of weight without even trying. My mood improved massively — I wasn’t waking up depressed or anxious. Instead, I felt… cheerful. Even optimistic.

I’d get stuff done I’d been putting off for ages. The house got a good clear-out, I made progress in my work, and I just felt more in control of my life. Everything seemed lighter, better, easier.

The “Rules” for Drinking Again

By the time the 30 days were nearly up, I’d start thinking about how I’d drink again — but, you know, in a controlled, classy way. This time it would ALL be different….

I’d make these rules for myself:

• Only drink quality wine (whatever that was!)
• Have a maximum of 2 glasses
• Only drink at weekends
• Only drink on special occasions

I was convinced I’d become this sophisticated, moderate drinker. No more constant drinking, no more self-loathing, no more hangovers, no more embarrassing behaviour!

The Reality Check

Of course, the moment February rolled around, I’d have that first drink… and at first, everything would seem fine. But within a week or two, I’d be right back where I started — drinking too much, too often. The “rules” would crumble almost instantly.

Looking back, I can see that I was definitely in alcoholic territory. But at the time, I didn’t think so. Why? Because I could stop for a month whenever I wanted. Surely, that meant I didn’t have a “real” problem… right? I wasn’t the same as those ‘park bench’ alcoholics?

Why It Kept Me Stuck

In reality, those 30-day breaks actually delayed my recovery. They gave me this false sense of control. I thought: If I can stop, I’m fine. But the truth was, the second I gave myself permission to drink again, the cravings came roaring back.

And here’s the big thing — I never once looked at why I drank. I never asked what alcohol was giving me or what I was trying to avoid. My only method was willpower, and while that worked short-term, it didn’t change anything deeper.

There’s this “pink cloud” phase you get in early sobriety — that euphoric stretch where you feel amazing. But for me, the cloud always drifted away, and the cravings returned stronger than ever. Eventually, I’d be drinking exactly the way I had before, if not more as I had some catching up to do!

Stopping for 30 days gave me a temporary boost — but it didn’t free me. What finally changed everything was learning to deal with the root causes, not just pressing pause on the habit.

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